The words we use.
There are always at least two ways of saying or asking something. There’s almost always a kinder way of asking your question, a more benign way of reminding someone of something or a more thoughtful way of letting someone know that you care for them.
I think it comes naturally to some people to use their language as kindly as they can, mostly because of their surroundings or them being attentive. And to some people it’s more natural to tend to an offensive approach.
Regardless, we all fall in to being a little less kind than we can be. We all have bad days where everything seems to come out as accusations. It might be because of pain, tiredness or general moodiness. And that’s alright, as long as we’re aware of it and can apologise for it. Maybe wearing that “Sorry for what I said when I was hungry”- t-shirt and showing it up to people.
But for those who aren’t aware of their language and their use of it, wearing that t-shirt might be hard. Simply because they’re not aware of that what they said when they were hungry was offensive, or even that they were hungry.
So this I ask of you: start thinking about it. Because this matters. There’s a really big difference between “You seem down. How are you? Do you need anything?” and “You seem down. What’s the matter with you? Chin up.”