I Kev. You’re probably not going to read this, ever. I’m writing this on the off chance that you will.
First off, I want to say that I hope you’re doing fantastic over in Bali. I hope you’re banging every chick that wants to bang you, and having a good time. Because I know that’s why you went there.
During our short interaction in the car a couple of weeks ago, we got to talk about some stuff that I don’t usually talk about with people that I’ve just met. I told you about the turtles in my mind. About the change that I want to make, the impact that I think I can have. Not in a Kanye kind of way, but you seemed to get the energy that I put out.
Likewise, you told me about a dream you have, to meet both of your daughters again. You talked about it as if it’d be impossible, and you’d already kind of given up on it. You brought up all of the reasons to why, with the conflict with your ex-wives, the geographical distance between all of you and, what you stressed the most in this conversation, how much of a fuckup you are.
Kevin, I’d like you to really hear me out on this. You’re definitely not the most intelligent person I’ve met. You’re not the best looking either, nor the one with the best resumé. What you are though, and I know this as any other truth I hold, is that you’re kind. Not a single atom in you would like to in the least hurt your daughters. And that’s good enough. You’re good enough.
Because that’s your biggest issue, that’s what you’ll have to start with if you’d like to meet them again. If you’d like to really succeed at anything and feel true happiness, it’s to believe in yourself. Not in a Love yourself unconditionally blah blah kind of way. But to believe in your ability, to believe in that you’re worth it all. Not to feel shame over the things you’ve done, or for the things you’ve yet to accomplish. To even believe that you’re worthy of walking on this earth, because you don’t really believe that now.
Start there Kev. I know those voices in you, trying to pull you down like lobsters pulling each other down in the boiling water. They’re in everyone in some sense. It’s all about how much you listen to them.
Kev, I truly love you. I believe in you, and I believe in you’re dreams. Even if you’re not on team Kevin, I’ll be.